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The
reason why I state these qualities as essential is because when a
person goes abroad the whole system around them changes. To cope with
such a sudden change in the environment, the skills listed above are
required to harmonize with the foreign world.
Living in a foreign country:
Adjusting in a new culture
I arrived at San Francisco airport at two in the morning, my first time
abroad. I was apprehensive, but also secure in the knowledge that I
would be met and Mr Fred, my Rotary Club counsellor would show me the
ropes. The plane arrived, but Mr Fred did not. I had no idea what to
do, so I went up to the airline staff and told them about my
predicament. They told me to page for Mr Fred. I found out about
white courtesy telephones and paged for Mr Fred. But he proved
elusive. I was close to panic, but decided to call him at his
residence at two in the morning and find out the details. So I walked
up to this person and requested change for ten dollars. The person
gave me a strange look and said rudely "use a change machine".
Now what is the change machine? I asked this from another gentleman
and he directed me to one. So with all my hand baggage (and it was
quite a lot) I trudged across to the change machine only to find it
did not accept ten dollars. Now the Indian Government had not issued
me a note of lower denomination, so I was stuck on the airport for
the night.
You find and you will seek:
Travelling and that too travelling abroad is quite an adventure. For many people
the initial few days and months are quite traumatic. A strange
culture, strange people, different laws and ways of behaviour. If
someone tugged the carpet beneath us, we will not only fall down but
also feel disoriented. Entry into another culture/country is thousand
times worse. Yet the simplest and the most obvious solution to the
problem is curiosity. When in doubt ask questions from the
appropriate people. In most of the western cultures you are required
to make your enquiries from the appropriate office/booth. Just like
the change machine. When you are still in India, before leaving for
the other country, spend some time in the information sections of the
embassies. All countries have extensive libraries which introduce
people to their culture, local customs and laws. Try and read or see
some film on that specific country. You might be forearmed with
knowledge. Reading will familiarize you with many new aspects of the
culture that you will be entering.
But when you are actually there you need information on a day to day
basis about living in that specific country. In the place you are try and become friends with someone as soon as possible,. Many people
are curious about foreigners but are themselves shy about approaching
them to make friends. Since you need a lot of help in the initial
period go ahead and give that first smile. If you seem approachable
and pleasant, many people will go out of their way to help you.
Open your eyes and look:
Keep observing the native people and see how they behave with each other.
Observation will help you to learn all lot more about the non verbal
cues of a society. For example in many eastern cultures the junior
employees will not look directly in the eyes of the boss, to show
their deference for authority. Whereas in America if you do not look
a person in the eye they will suspect you of hiding something or
being untrustworthy.
While you are interacting with people either at work or in a social
situation keep observing how people behave. In the US for most part
the waiters or other lower staff are treated with equality. So if you
behave in a demeaning way you might be up for some reproof. These are
but examples of how various cultures are different. But if you want
to adjust then you in many ways will have to adapt to the local
customs and norms.
To each their own:
Easier said than done. You will see many things which are different than
they are back home, but as mentioned earlier each society has a
different way of dealing with a situation. Just like a person from
Japan or any other country cannot come to India and openly criticize
anything. We cannot go and start judging societies and their way of
doing things. When I was first introduced to the complete dependence
of the developed countries on machines, I was very impressed. Coffee
could come out of a machine, from one hole the cup came, then came
packets of sugar and coffee from another slot and then hot water. But
later this very dependence on machines started to seem very inhuman
to me. Now I enjoy the little interaction with the "chai wallah"
and can understand why in India the coffee machines are equipped with
one or two people - our need to give employment to people is greater.
Grin and bear it:
Though it is a cliché, nothing can be more important. Retain your
sense of humour and many of the changes, problems and different
experiences will start to seem exciting.
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